How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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