If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
please come you make the beer taste better
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize