Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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