So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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