i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
