I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
