Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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