I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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