Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
