tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
