that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
