Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
