hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
