Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize