It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
