i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
