Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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