In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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