New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
