i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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