i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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