please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
