I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
