Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
