I need help removing her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish there were birth control emojis
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
