So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
