Me too!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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