Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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