he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
