I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
