After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
