HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
