Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
