He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
