He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Your penis caused this!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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