so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
