dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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