Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
