how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
