im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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