my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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