i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
