ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize