you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
