he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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