why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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