i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize