I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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