i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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