hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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