he thought i was a dude.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
