Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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