Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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