why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
