I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
