we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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