just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
