I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
