If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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